The Biebs Goes to Space



That’s right. Justin Bieber is going into orbit.


Before everyone gets excited – he’s coming back. Unfortunately, we have not voted him off of Earth, nor are we preparing to send him to an uninhabited planted somewhere in a distant solar system… that would be awesome.


Instead, the Biebs is buying a whopping $250,000 ticket from Virgin CEO Richard Branson, for a trip on one of his Virgin Galactic Suborbital flights. Yes, space is the new filthy-rich kids’ playground.


“Sir, we do not have enough room for your Channel wardrobe and assorted face lotions…”


Here is where things get worse. The Biebs posted this idiotic proposal via Twitter this week… here we go.




NOOO! This is too cool of a concept to be wasted on the Biebs. This sort of event should be reserved for The Flaming Lips, George Clinton or even The Rolling Stones – just not the Biebs. He’s just not awesome enough.


At least someone beat him to the punch. It will be hard for the Biebs to top this incredible rendition of “Space Oddity” (by David Bowie), performed on the International Space Station by┬áCommander Chris Hadfield… what a boss.



As we Earthlings watch these disturbing events unfold, we ask ourselves, “Will space ever be cool again?” It seems the more rich people we send into the orbit, the more upsetting space will most likely become.


To be honest, if we tried to shoot Justin Bieber into the vast emptiness that is space, alien life forms would likely find Biebs such a threat to their home planet – they would most likely return him… and destroy Earth.


Bon voyage Justin! Don’t get sick as you enter complete weightlessness and exit our atmosphere! Maybe we’ll get lucky and he’ll run into some aliens who have listened to his “music.”







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