First of all, what the hell is “sodcasting?” Is this a podcast about strips of replacement grass?
No. According to Urban Dictionary, Sodcasting is “the act of playing music through the speaker of a mobile phone, usually on public transport.”
Regardless of where it occurs – it’s super annoying.
Sodcasting is nothing new. Remember the boombox? These were the original sodcasters. We almost completely wiped them out of existence following the invention of headphones. You gotta give it to the sodcasting pioneers (such as LL Cool J)… at least they had style.
So, why is this even a thing? We (the human race) don’t use headphones to simply accessorize with our outfit, do we? The use of this invention isn’t being overshadowed by a $300 price tag, is it? We don’t just wear headphones around our necks as a fashion, or status, statement nowadays, do we? …Oh. Wait. Crap.
Anyway, sodcasting. How can we put an end to this massacre of personal space? How do we explain to these selfish individuals that their musical taste, like everyone else’s, is a matter of opinion?
Here is how.
1) Dueling iPhones
So you’re in line at the local pharmacy. CVS. Walgreen’s. Wherever. When all of the sudden, you hear a disruptively aggressive song screaming from treble-heavy speakers near the cashier. It’s the guy in front of you.
The music playing is a combination of out-of-date, hardcore clown rap, and blood-curdling medieval scream-o, loosely held together by improvisational jazz elements. The song’s primary instrument is one of those ribbed wooden fish you slide a stick over. The song was written and produced by Miley Cyrus.
(Can we all agree this would be unpleasant sounding?)
In a situation like this, you must use what tools you have been given. If you have a smartphone capable of playing audio – you may stand a chance. You’ve got to sodcast right back.
Remember, hold your phone high in the air. Be proud. You are not the same as them. You are sodcasting with a purpose… for the good of humanity.
Obviously, this individual is hard to irritate, so blaring just any old music won’t be helpful. Try this classic YouTube video… it’s the 10-hour version.
(To up the ante, use an external speaker for maximum volume.)
2) Be a Humanitarian
Some of these sodcasters may actually not have headphones. Maybe the individual at hand is truly a music-lover. Maybe this individual really does just have a hard time waiting in line to buy Juicy Fruit without a soundtrack.
(The Juicy Fruit gum commercial would also make a great audio choice for solution #1.)
Be a good Samaritan. There are websites with headphones available for virtually nothing. If each of us bought 50 pairs of these – we could squash this problem forever. We could headphone the headphoneless – every beauty pageant contestant’s dream.
Here’s the link if you are willing to pay for the cure for this pandemic.
It’s time to put those regrettable Friday night skills to good use. If you know the song being played by the sodcaster – it’s on. Take a deep breath and let them have it. Sing like you have never sung before. Sing as if the future of pharmacy line decency depends on it… because it just might. Feel free to dance as well.
CAUTION: If this doesn’t make them put their phone away – you may have just become best friends. (Yikes.)
If you don’t know the words to the song that this individual is blaring, because it sucks – just fake it. Pretend to know the words. Ruin their ignorant bliss by destroying what they love most – horrible, awful, disruptive and sodcasted music.