No-Scoop Poops



There are many ways to disrespect another person’s property, but not many ways compare to the total disregard of leaving a dog turd on someone’s lawn.


Those that walk their dog generally carry a small bag… you know, for the poop. However, many dog walkers have convinced themselves that the waste will magically disappear, or just kind of work it’s way into the earth unnoticed.


This is a misconception. Some canine waste will even stay intact through winter and into the spring, requiring some serious cleanup in May. Get your rubber gloves… this could get squishy.


This practice becomes even more insulting when the dog is of above average size. We’re talking about a tootsie roll compared to a bag of chocolate chips… there is a difference.


So once again we find ourselves asking – how do we deal with this everyday problem in an over-the-top, BOJ fashion? Let’s explore.


First of all, let’s keep in mind that this problem does not start with the dog that has to relieve himself,  it starts with the person walking them onto your yard. They are the ones making this possible. Don’t blame the doggy.


1)   Confront the Culprit (Human)


Start with, “Hey, you’ve been letting your dog crap on my lawn!” That’s a strong way to enter a conversation. If you’re lucky, you’ll be able to watch them pick it up with their bare hands!



2)   Use the perpetrators’ waste to begin a dog poop compost… that’ll show ‘em. There is no revenge as sweet as one that is environmentally friendly!  This process is absolutely disgusting, by the way.



3)   Create a Water Scarecrow of Death (Don’t create anything like this.)


This could also be used in a garden to defend crops from rodents, a front door to scare off solicitors or a bedroom to keep your parents from going through your stuff. (If you set up a sprinkler inside your parents house, they will most likely ask you to leave.)




4)   Total Revenge


Those last suggestions are fun to think about, but let’s face it – you want revenge! If you know where this disrespectful neighbor lives, great! If not, then find out. Once you have their address, just simply visit this website and ship them the perfect gift for all lazy and irresponsible pet owners… a giant box of crap. (Their number two reason for sending poop is this very situation… and they’re poop-sending experts!)



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