Most people succumb to the tantalizingly convenient amenities of a fast food chain once in a while. It’s available, it’s “fast” – and can be shame eaten in a moving vehicle. Sometimes, fast food happens to good people.
It is usually this instance, in which a horrible, unforgivable mistake occurs. A mistake so awful, that it even ruins the chance of enjoying the non-biodegradable toxins that are associated with a Bic Mag. Whether it be incorrect change, cold fries or missing the breakfast menu by 30 seconds… we’re not Lovin’ it.
When you roll up to a Toxic Hell, McD’s or BK Lounge, you’re there to eat – then leave. Nobody schedules a business meeting at Arby’s. Not because the food doesn’t taste good, but because it is a place of haste. You can bet that 99% of all people at a fast food restaurant are in a hurry and hungry beyond belief.
Otherwise, they would be at Olive Garden, where the service is slow and the food is inedible.
OHHHHHHHH! (I’d say that was a burn if the food wasn’t cold.) OHHHH!
So why the mistakes? Why the ever-stinging “second lap” customers must take to re-correct issues? Why the fry lane? Isn’t there a pile of those that have been sitting under a heat lamp?
How do we deal with this epidemic of missing straws, fish fillet substitutes and forgotten dipping sauce? Here’s how.
1. Don’t Eat Fast Food
It’s super bad for you. (Not sure if you’ve heard that lately…) The biggest favor the fast food industry does for consumers is to make their product undeniably repulsive. Not in taste, but in chemical makeup. That cheese is closer to plastic than processed cow juice. Choose to pack a lunch. Your stomach, waistline, teeth and underwear will thank you.
2. Supersize Your Re-Order (This is stealing… which is wrong.)
When you have something missing from your bag, what do you do? You roll around a second time, wait for other short-handed bags to be dispersed – then have a chat with the more-than-friendly sales associate. You deserve a little something extra. If they don’t offer, there is another way. If they forgot your small fry, do yourself a favor and upgrade your missed item to the large – they obviously don’t remember. You’re going to regret eating them anyway, so you might as well eat until you’re full…
3. Get Sweet Revenge
Get the name off their name tag, set up a plan and execute. Go right in and ask when their schedule is… (You’re a close friend wondering when you can surprise them with a “visit”.) Set up a maniacal plot to screw with them, and Voualla! You have free entertainment. Don’t forget to film it… and be sure to grab a four-piece before you leave.