Men, ladies, let’s take a moment to be honest. Most of the population is completely un-datable—95% to be specific, according to Seinfeld.
The world is absolutely filled with maladapted individuals, many of who are single and thus a part of the dating pool. If you’re reading this, you are probably one of the lucky who are a part of the dating scene. Kudos to you, brave one. With all the weirdoes out there, it’s inevitable that you will have at least one awkward first date. Be strong though. You will survive.
But, BOJ, what could go wrong you might ask? SO MANY THINGS! Maybe your date spends the entire time looking down at his or her phone, brings Mom along, or bursts into tears over dinner. You never know what could happen.
There are a few things you can do to save face, and I don’t mean having a friend call with an “emergency.” Everyone knows that old trick.
- Fight Fire with FireIf your date is awkward, rude, or unemployed, kick it up a notch and throw it back into his/her face.
Is your date telling a very boring story about the time he/she spent a summer abroad in France? Including little details about all the interesting course offerings and all his/her favorite things about Paris? STOP. Interrupt with your own story about how you hitchhiked across Brazil to raise money for your Save the Lemmings foundation.
Or, maybe your date dives deep into the future and starts to talk about how many children they expect to have in the future. Say that’s great, “I want twelve, at least.”
- Act Crazy
If things aren’t going well, act crazy to ensure you will be rejected by your date!
Chew with your mouth open, talk as loudly as possible during the movie, and talk about your ex. Talk about your ex A LOT.
- Take it Easy
Remember, it’s just a first date and you’ll survive. In fact, YOU may even be someone else’s terrible date story. Don’t have high expectations and don’t take it out on anyone when a date goes badly. Most of the time it’s no one’s fault. Some people really aren’t “meant for each other.”
Lastly, keep your chin up and rock on. Blast your favorite song when you need reminding of how awesome you are.